The fashion for partner childbirth has swept the world, and now it is considered almost bad form if the father of the child does not hold his wife's hand at the most crucial moment. Women are looking for support, they want to share this pain and joy, but men often fall into a stupor at the very thought of the delivery room. A conflict arises: she takes offense, considering it a betrayal, he closes in, afraid to seem weak or see something he is not ready for.
It is important to understand that childbirth is a physiological process, sometimes harsh and not at all like scenes from melodramas. Not every man has a psyche capable of digesting what is happening without consequences. Coercion here is the way to problems in the relationship, which can turn out much later, when the child is already older.
Fears that men are silent about
Men tend to be afraid of helplessness. Seeing a woman you love suffer and not being able to really help (except to provide water) is torture for many. They are afraid of fainting and becoming a burden to doctors, afraid that what they see will kill their attraction to their wife as a woman.
These fears don't make them bad fathers or husbands. It's just a defensive reaction of the psyche. Sometimes an honest refusal is a more mature act than agreeing under pressure, which will end in a panic attack in the hallway of the hospital.
Compromise options
Partner childbirth does not necessarily imply being present at the very moment of "X". A man can be there during labor, give massages, entertain with conversations, help breathe. And when the rest period begins, he can go out into the corridor and return when the baby is placed on his mother's chest.
This is the golden mean: a woman gets support during the longest and most exhausting period, and a man gets rid of the need to observe medical details. Many couples choose this scenario and remain satisfied.
Accept the partner's choice
If your husband is categorically against it, you should respect his decision. Resentment is unproductive here. He has to become a father, take responsibility, stay up at night, and this is much more important than being in the hospital. Perhaps he will prove himself to be the best dad in the world, bathing and swaddling the baby from the first day.
Pressure and blackmail ("if you don't go, then you don't love") will only create a rift in the marriage. The birth of a child is the beginning of a new stage, and it is better to enter it in harmony, understanding and accepting each other's weaknesses.
Ultimately, childbirth is just one day (albeit an important one), and there is a whole life ahead where you will need your husband's support a thousand more times. Check out Casinolab for fast-paced fun.